


sorry, that's just how i play this stupid game

by reina_inefable



Category: Infinity Train (Cartoon)
Genre: Crushes, F/M, Jesse has a forehead scar now :), One Shot, a little bit of swearing, and a LOT of coping, lets play a game called take a shot everytime I change pov or writing style, some self-indulgence, they're dumb teenagers crushing on each other, what more do I have to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23186812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reina_inefable/pseuds/reina_inefable
Summary: Nearing the end of the school year, Jesse had been busy with studying for finals and practicing for swim competitions-- state championships this time. Lake, on the other hand, occupied herself with discovering herself and the world around her. Exploring the city, finding her style, making up for lost time, and all that. It was barely the first week of summer when their schedules finally eased up.Today in particular, Jesse had insisted on Lake going out for a walk with him. For no specific reason at all whatsoever none at all, he’d insisted, even as his voice cracked nervously.Sure, whatever, Lake had replied, with a flick to his forehead.***In which Lake and Jesse reveal more about each other than they intended.
Relationships: Lake/Jesse, Lake/Jesse Cosay
Comments: 8
Kudos: 96





	sorry, that's just how i play this stupid game

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a fic in over a year but its quarantine time and cringe culture is dead baybeeyyyyyyyy
> 
> Title comes from the song "Airplane Mode" by Limbo. It honestly doesn't have much to do with the story, but that song reminds me of summer of 2019. This is heavily based off some experiences I had last summer and I still think about them.
> 
> This was originally gonna be a different story but I went off on a tangent and decided to end it on a much more lighthearted note than originally planned. 
> 
> Fair warning, you might cringe a lot. That's on purpose. :)))))))). 
> 
> Enjoy! <3

As of recently, Jesse and Lake found themselves spending a lot of time apart. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to spend time together, because they  _ had _ made efforts for movie nights as often as they could, but their individual lives could get hectic, and the last time they’d watched a movie was at least two weeks ago.

Nearing the end of the school year, Jesse had been busy with studying for finals and practicing for swim competitions-- state championships this time. Lake, on the other hand, was occupied with discovering herself and the world around her. Exploring the city, finding her style, making up for lost time, and all that. It was barely the first week of summer when their schedules finally eased up.

Today in particular, Jesse had insisted on Lake going out for a walk with him.  _ For no specific reason at all whatsoever none at all _ , he’d insisted, even as his voice cracked nervously. 

_ Sure, whatever _ , Lake had replied, with a flick to his forehead.

They took a long path through the small patch of woods near Jesse’s house, one that winded around the lake at its center. Between the brief, small-talk conversations, a comfortable silence fell upon them, in which Lake turned her attention to the muted rays of sun that filtered through the trees and reflected off her skin.

Jesse, on the other hand, observed her fondly, his face tinting slightly, even as Lake remained none the wiser.

Eventually, they reached their apparent destination: a humble, little clearing that led directly to an area of the lake, that was partially shrouded by a bushy strip of land that jutted in. Resting there was a huge, flat-topped boulder that peeked out over the lake.

“C’mon,” Jesse said, stepping ahead of her and climbing up the boulder. He sat, and patted a spot next to him. “Sit.”

Lake raised a brow, but complied. 

After a beat, she broke the silence.

“So…” she began, “Why are we here?”

He shrugged. “No particular reason.” He leaned back on his hands, letting his legs hang over the edge of the rock. “I just feel like we haven’t hung out in a while.” His face felt warm.

That much was true. Though she was too prideful to admit it, she missed him and his antics. Spending several weeks in a supernatural train with nothing but each other and a magic deer as company _does_ make the heart grow fonder.

Lake leaned back, too, copying her friend’s position. “I like this place,” she said. 

Jesse hummed. “I used to come here all the time as a kid. Y’know, when I just needed some time alone.”

Lake snorted. “You? Needing time alone? Yeah, right.”

“Seriously!”

“Well, excuse me, Mr. Congeniality, but you’re such a social butterfly it’s hard to believe you’d ever want to be alone,” she teased.

“I guess,” he agreed, “but it gets tiring. I just feel really pressured to, like, entertain people all the time. And it’s fun! Don’t get me wrong. But then people just don’t take me seriously. I’m not always happy, you know.” 

Lake was about to make a sarcastic remark, but seeing the way Jesse’s eyes flitted down, almost sadly, she bit her tongue. It was a rare thing to see him so serious: the last time he’d opened up to her was probably on the Train. Now was not the time to ruin the intimacy of the moment, so for once, she stayed quiet and just listened.

“I never had anyone to really  _ talk _ to, if that makes sense. I was always cool with everyone, but I wasn’t like, close to anyone. Máá and Taa were always busy with work or with Nate. And Nate was too young to understand.” He sighed. “I know it sounds dumb, but the pressure to just be sort-of… I guess, one-dimensional, gets to you. I don’t feel that pressure when I’m here.” 

_ Or when I’m with you _ , he wanted to add, but didn’t.

“Here, I could always be myself without anyone to judge me for it. Not the swim team, not the stupid friends I had back then...”

A distant glaze had settled on his soft, almond eyes, and Lake couldn’t help but stare. 

She understood the significance of the place, and she wished she could have done something about his past, but she didn’t even know what to say, or if she should say anything at all. There was a fleeting thought to grab his hand, as a way to say she understood, but as she inched her hand towards his, she chickened out. So she simply stared, at his warm, brown eyes. His strong nose and jaw, his high cheekbones, his olive skin…

_ He's like a Greek statue _ , she thought to herself. 

In a moment, he looked over at her. “Huh? What was that?”

_ Shit--  _ did she say that out loud?

She blushed a dark gray. “Nothing.”

“Okay. Anyways, I didn’t bring you here for that.” Jesse stood up on the rock, smiling mischievously and extending a hand toward her. 

Lake frowned in suspicion, but took it, and slowly got to her feet as well. 

Jesse took off his yellow and blue varsity jacket-- that jacket that he never took off, even when it reeked for weeks on end or when the weather neared triple digits, such as now-- and let it drop to the ground. He kicked his shoes off, too.

“Whaaat are you doing?”

Stepping a few feet back, he took a sprinting start, and impulsed himself at the edge of the rock. He pulled his knees up to his chest in the air, and landed in the lake with a splash big enough for a few, ice cold drops to land on Lake.

“Jesse, what the fu-!”

“Jump in!” he said as he resurfaced. “The water’s nice!”

“What-- no--! Are you crazy?” Lake scowled at him.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!”

“Jesse I-” She looked down at her shorts, her loose, gray t-shirt, her ankle socks and white sneakers-- “I don’t even have a swimsuit!”

“So? Neither do I.” Jesse neared the shore, his surprisingly long hair matted down to his forehead. He climbed up the rock again, and shook himself like a dog, sprinkling Lake.

“Ugh! Jesse!”

He laughed as she playfully shoved him.

“Can you swim?” 

Lake snorted. “I’m made of metal. I can’t even float.”

“Well it’s a good thing it’s pretty shallow.” 

The sun was beating on them directly, and Lake felt her skin begin to overheat. Suddenly, the water looked very enticing. 

“Ugh,  _ fine _ ,” she conceded. She removed her sneakers. “Okay, let’s go.”

Jesse looked like he’d just swallowed something sour. “You aren’t thinking about swimming in  _ socks _ , are you?”

Lake glanced down. “Uh, yeah?”

“Absolutely not! You monster!” he exclaimed dramatically.

She laughed and flicked his forehead. “I don’t see what the issue is.”

“How  _ couldn’t  _ you? I swear, if you get in with socks I will never talk to you again.”

“Yeah, I’ll take that chance.” She took a running start, but before she could even jump, Jesse grabbed her waist and pulled her back.

“Hey! What gives?” Lake was scowling at this point.

“It’s a crime to jump in with socks.”

“Jesse this is dumb.”

“I don’t make the rules.”

“Look-- I just don’t want to take them off, okay?”

The switchblade mirror still remained attached to her right ankle, and she had rarely moved it since. She also hadn’t ever shown it to anyone-- not even Jesse. Sometimes, she preferred to pretend it wasn’t even there. It reminded her that she was-- used to be-- a reflection, even if she literally couldn’t exist without it.

Jesse quirked an eyebrow. “Why?”

Lake sat cross legged, and Jesse followed suit. “I… have…” Crooked toes? A wound? A switchblade mirror that allows me to exist outside of the Mirror World? “...a scar.”

He eyed her, slowly, as if trying to figure out whether she was lying or not. She squirmed under his scrutiny.

“Can’t be as bad as mine,” he finally said, coolly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I got it a couple years ago,” Jesse explained. “Ashton’s birthday pool party. Oh man, I thought he was the coolest fucking kid back in middle school. Only the people he considered ‘cool enough’ were invited, and I wanted to impress him so bad. Everyone was pulling these, like, risky stunts around the pool, so I tried to outdo them being cool, but ended up slipping and cracking my skull on the concrete. Heh.”

Lake gaped at him before failing to suppress a laugh. “I thought you were gonna say you got in a fight or something, but  _ of course _ you’d get a scar like that trying to impress someone!”

“Looking back on it, that  _ was _ pretty dumb.”

“Did it at least work?”

Jesse gave her a pointed look. “Absolutely,” he said, which only made Lake laugh harder. He smiled sheepishly.

“Lucky for me, most people don’t notice it,” he said, when her laughter had died down, “‘cause I hide it pretty well with my hair. But, I trust you. Look.” He brought his hand up to his forehead and raked his hair back, revealing said scar. It was deep, and several shades lighter than his skin tone, running diagonally about two inches in length. 

Lake nearly reached out to touch it out of habit, but instantly stopped herself. Jesse had noticed, however, and took her hand in his, a tacit consent. 

From his hairline, sloping down to his eyebrow, she gently traced the scar with her index finger. And when she reached the end, she dared trailed down the brow bone, to the corner of his eye, and finally to the tip of his cheekbone before retracting her hand.

Jesse was looking at her intently, his cheeks turning redder by the second, and suddenly, at the realization of what she had done, Lake’s cheeks gained a dark gray tint as well.

“Sorry— I shouldn’t have—“

He nodded. “No! It’s— it’s fine— I—uh—“

They pointedly looked at anything but each other. After a pause, Lake decided it was her turn to be honest.

“Listen,” she began, “I, sort of, lied. About the scar thing. Like, it’s not a literal scar but like— you’ll see.”

She brought her right knee to her chest, her thumb at the band of her sock. “I’ve  _ never _ shown this to anyone, okay?” Jesse nodded. 

With a deep inhale, she pushed down her sock, and slid up her attachment to her upper calf.

Exposed, in all of its bright-red, plastic glory, was the switchblade mirror that was her lifeline. 

“Woah,” Jesse said. “What is that?”

“ _ This _ ,” she muttered, “is the reason I can exist in the Prime World.” Extending her leg so that Jesse could get a closer look, she continued, “Tulip had this multipurpose, switchblade tool-thing and she ripped off the little mirror it had and gave me my own reflection. That’s how I was able to leave the Mirror World. But that also means I can’t take it off, and now I have this ugly, red thing permanently attached to me forever.”

Jesse seemed to be taking it all in. “Does it… does it hurt?”

“What? No, that’s stupid, why would it hurt?”

“I don’t know! It’s, like, permanently glued to you! ”

“I mean--” she frowned-- “ugh, I guess it doesn’t hurt  _ physically _ . But I just… don’t like looking at it. Whenever I do I remember that without it I would have been just a _ reflection _ my whole life. Or Tulip’s life, I guess.”

She felt Jesse’s warm hand on her shoulder. “Then it’s a good thing you have it,” he said. “You could think of it as a good thing, then, like a reminder that you made it out.”

She  _ had _ made it out.

(And it was all thanks to Tulip.  _ God _ , she’d been such a jerk to her, that clever nerd. She made a mental note to get in touch with her as soon as she had the chance.) 

“You’re always so positive. I don’t know how you do it. But I guess you’re right, I could try that.” Lake touched the hard plastic. “Doesn’t mean I want to be showcasing it, though.”

“Believe me, I know how you feel,” Jesse said, and promptly pushed his hair back down over his forehead, over his scar. “By the way, can I…?”

Lake gave him a deadpan look, then rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

The confused expression on Jesse’s face as he poked and prodded the extension, as much as she hated to admit it. After a few attempts to push and pull it from her metal skin, and seeing that nothing happened, he slid it back down smoothly back to her ankle. He gasped.

“It’s like one of those finger skateboards! You know the ones that used to come with--”

“OKAY that’s enough opening up for today let’s get in.”

Quickly kicking off her socks to where her shoes were, Lake stood at the edge of the rock, ready to jump. As she looked down at the water, she had a sudden thought. 

“Uh, how deep is this lake? Remember I can’t flo-- AGH!”

Silently, Jesse had creeped up behind her and given her the smallest shove, but even that was enough to make her lose her balance. Unfortunately for him, he had little time to enjoy his friend’s humorous demise, because as Lake attempted in vain to regain her balance, she turned at the very last possible split-second, even as she fell, yanked him by the shirt, and shrieked,  _ “You’re going down with me!” _

The radius of their combined splashes proved enormous. Fortunately for Lake, the area they landed in wasn’t very deep, and was just shallow enough for her to stand comfortably and only have the water level reach her shoulders.

Jesse stayed underwater briefly before jumping up and splashing even more water on Lake. She returned the favor, and in a moment they were giggling and play-fighting with the water like little kids.

After several minutes of an intense water battle, they tired themselves out of playing rough, gradually calming down and relaxing into their environment. 

The water was surprisingly clear, and Lake could see every single mossy rock under her feet. She vaguely remembered Tulip hating the sensation, but, as it turned out, Lake quite liked their velvety feel.

Tulip wasn’t a fan of the outdoors. She avoided venturing into forests and rivers and such, and preferred to stay in her room coding or playing video games, for the most part. (Lake actually enjoyed video games as much as her, but it got frustrating when you could only “play” off a reflection from a cup or something dumb like that.) Because of that, Lake had never really enjoyed all the different sensations that came with it. She liked the rustling sound of leaves in the wind, and the rough, jagged bark under her fingertips. She liked the strange, musty smell of the natural humidity, though wasn’t exactly pleasant, but it was interesting and altogether grounding. She liked the different shades of dirt under her shoes, and she liked the sound of squawking birds, and way ferns curled up shyly at her touch. She liked the heat of the sun, and the coldness of the water, and the velvety, mossy rocks under her feet.

(She liked Jesse, too-- a lot, actually-- but she refused to dwell too long on the matter, lest she find herself dealing with an unrequited crush.) 

Jesse leisurely swam circles around Lake.

Swimming really  _ was _ one of his best skills. In occasionally accompanying him to swim meets (for moral support solely and  _ exclusively _ and no other reason, of course), she’d noticed that he was one of the fastest and most skilled of his team. She’d also noticed that a kind of peaceful air fell upon him when he swam for his own enjoyment. Sometimes, he’d just remain suspended, on his back, with his eyes closed, a shadow of a smile dancing on his lips. 

He was doing that now.

A fond smile unconsciously tugged at her lips, and pushed any unwanted thoughts about how amazing he was to the back of her mind.

A few more tranquil minutes passed, in which Lake busied herself observing the underwater environment, pleasantly surprised to discover that her eyes didn’t sting underwater. She did, however, still need air, and so pushed herself back to the surface.

“You know what I should get?” she asked.

“Hm?” Jesse had swum further in, and upon hearing her voice he seemed to wake from his reverie. He swam back to her.

“Floaties,” she declared. “For my arms. Then maybe I could actually swim further in.”

“Lake, you absolute genius. We should _ totally _ do that!” Jesse replied enthusiastically. “But since we don’t have them right now--”

“Hey-- hey, what are you doing?”

If there was one thing Jesse and Lake had in common, it was that were both adept at making badly-thought out, spur-of-the-moment decisions. And in that moment, Jesse had made the poor decision to teasingly pick up Lake and lightly toss her over a little further from land. The lack of thought put into this, though, came in the form of Jesse severely underestimating just how heavy Lake was. Upon picking her up, he instantly sunk under her weight. 

_ “Jesse- what the f-” _

“WOW, you are  _ dense, _ ” he coughed out, and laughed. His wet hair was so long it partially covered his eyes.

Lake rolled her eyes, but she was laughing too. “Shut up, you look like a wet dog. And you have a leaf in your hair.”

There wasn’t actually a leaf in his hair.

“Hold on,” she said, raising her hand to his forehead.

Instinctively, he flinched, thinking she’d flick him. Instead, she ran her hands through his hair, raking it back and exposing his forehead once more. Was he red in the face or was it just her imagination?

It was Jesse’s turn to ask, “What are you doing?” 

She didn’t know what she was doing. She was inching towards him, without really knowing what to do next. For the tenth time that afternoon, her face was warming up.

“I’m just…” She swallowed her words.

Tentatively, Jesse’s hands fell to gently rest on her waist.

Glancing down at his lips then back up at his eyes, she unthinkingly drew nearer to his face, feeling his warm breath. This was Lake’s turn to make a poorly-thought out decision. 

“I…”

Lake narrowed down the distance between their mouths, both of their eyes fluttering shut. Their lips brushed just barely, like butterflies—

She chickened out.

She pressed her forehead to his, then pulled back. Jesse opened his eyes, almost disoriented, and stared directly at her, his mouth slightly ajar. His face was crimson.

Impulsively, Lake pressed a quick, rough kiss on his cheek. Jesse blinked once, then returned the favor.

For a long minute they simply looked at each other, too scared to say anything. But what was there to say?

The sun had begun to set.

Jesse spoke up first. “We should, uhm, probably, y’know, h-head back?” 

“Yes! Yes, of course it’s getting late, don't want your parents worrying haha,” Lake quickly replied, already crawling up the shore. Her face was a completely different shade of gray. She felt her stomach plummet six feet under.

Naturally, they were soaked, despite how much excess water they were able to wring out. As they slipped on their discarded shoes, Lake heard Jesse awkwardly clear his throat behind her.

“Do you want to, uh, put on my jacket?” he asked, his voice cracking just a bit.

Lake turned to look at him. “What? Why? It’s not even cold.”

If anything, he was even redder than what she’d thought was possible. “No, it’s not that it’s… your- your shirt—“ he was vaguely gesturing to her, but making a point to look anywhere else.

“What’s wrong with my—“ She quickly crossed her arms over her chest-- “Actually give me the damn jacket.”

He tossed it to her. Lake caught it with one hand, keeping the other on her chest. She half-turned away, before calling out, “Turn around! You better not look!”

“I won't, I swear!” Jesse had his eyes squeezed shut, and wasn’t even facing her general direction.

As it turned out, Lake’s t-shirt was a light, cotton material, fit for hot summer afternoons. That meant it was very thin material, and upon getting it wet, it became mostly see-through, and as such, provided a clear view of everything underneath it. 

Once she was sure he really wouldn't look, she swiftly threw off her shirt and threw on Jesse’s jacket, buttoning it all the way up. It smelled like chlorine water and slushie syrup. 

“Okay, let’s go,” Lake muttered, and with that, they wordlessly trekked back home.

The blank ceilings of their respective bedrooms, as it turned out, served as excellent places to stare at in moments of deep introspection. Needless to say, neither of them slept much that night. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it all the the way down here, congrats! You just read 3.5k words of me just projecting onto infinity train characters!
> 
> But yeah for real I know a lot of this is cringe-worthy and dumb, but that's honestly how my teenage experiences have been. You say dumb things, you do dumb things, you chicken out of things, and sometimes you don't talk about them even if they keep you up at night.
> 
> I hope this doesn't come off as a sad ending, because it's not supposed to be sad. It's supposed to feel weird and uncertain, because that's really how it is most of the time, especially if it's you're not very experience with romance and such. LikeI said, I'm projecting.
> 
> Anyways, did you like it? Hate it? Want to commit a felony? Let me know in the comments! <3
> 
> (Or go scream at my Tumblr @apatheticallyromantic)


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